Happiness and cookies

Awhile ago, I read a Carolyn Hax column that said the reason most people are unhappy is simply because it's easier. (For the life of me, I can't find the original article online--it was in December, I think. Here's a follow-up column on the subject.) Did that make sense!

It's easier to stay at that dead-end job than to go out and get the training or do the legwork to find a new one. It's easier to be hate your weight than to get up and drive over to the Y for a good, hard workout. It's easier to sit in front of the TV and feel lonely than to get out and volunteer or join a club where you might meet some new people.

I'm not immune. I still have to push myself to go to the Y when I know for sure how good it makes me feel.

It's also hard to take a tough stance when it comes to Luke's diet. I still feel uncomfortable when I explain to someone who means well that the food they made is not okay for Luke. It's hard to pack up a lunch every day and a cooler of food when we travel and a bag of food when he goes to a friend's house. And it's really difficult to say "no" to Luke when he really wants a food, and I know it's not good for him.

Case in point, sugar. Food with sugar doesn't effect him right off the bat and oh, those Enjoy Life Foods cookies and bars taste soooo good to a kid who doesn't get a lot of sweet snacks. For me, it's so nice, and easy, to say "yes," and let him have those yummy, sugary treats.

But sugar is mixed in with Luke's yeast problems. And yeast problems = a kid who can't concentrate, flies from one thing to the next without thinking, talks nonstop, and can't sit still in his chair.

Of all the foods we have problems with, yeast is the oddest, the hardest to explain, and the most insidious, because the problems it brings creep up little by little.

We got the first clue to the fact that Luke had an issue with yeast back when he was maybe 7 or so. We had discovered all his other food allergies (milk, soy, wheat, eggs, nuts, shellfish, artificial colors/flavors) and thought we had them all under control, but hyperactive behavior kept creeping through and I couldn't figure out what was going on.

At the time, Luke was attending summer camp. One day, he walked off the bus with a counselor who had "the look" on their face; the tense look of someone who has had to deal with a very difficult child. The counselor explained Luke started punching a little girl while sitting next to her on the bus and wouldn't stop, and that two counselors had to sit with him and restrain him for the bus trip.

Luke looked awful--tired and drawn. I asked him what happened and he could only say, "I don't know! I don't know why I did that." I knew that wasn't his normal behavior; he doesn't hit other kids and this little girl in particular had been a friend since preschool, someone he would never think of even roughhousing with.

So I thought through his foods that day. The one thing that was different was a teaspoon of "Fruit Fresh" (or something similar) I had put in his guacamole, so it wouldn't get brown. When I looked at the ingredients, the main item was citric acid. So I pulled all the citric acid out of his diet and saw a lot of improvement almost immediately.

Not an easy feat, by the way. Citric acid is omnipresent--soft drinks, canned goods, everywhere.

As Luke went back to school the next fall, I had high hopes that he would have a lot easier time concentrating, and indeed, he did better than ever. However, we still had lingering issues. So I went online to look at citric acid and learn a little bit about it.

Citric acid is used as a preservative and to give a tart taste to foods that are too sweet. It can be found naturally in citris fruits, but most is created cheaply and commercially by feeding sucrose or glucose to cultures of Aspergillius niger (a fungus). Yuck. I also learned that people who have yeast allergies cannot eat citric acid, because of this reason.

When I looked at the list of foods that contain yeast, or harbor yeast, or encourage yeast, I was staggered. No more risen-bread products, even gluten-free, and no pretzels. I found out grapes, raisins, and dried fruit contain natural yeast, as do some berries. Food that's been opened starts growing mold. Finally, any starches and acidic foods you eat help yeast thrive in your system, and yeast LOVES SUGAR.

So, back to Luke. After I was really strict about sugar and grapes and everything else, and got him taking caprylic acid he was doing fantastically. The last two years at school have been his best ever. His teachers tell us he's "just a normal kid" (which is music to our ears) and that they are really glad he's in their class. He's happy, his teachers are happy, we're happy.

Then we slip back into "easy." It's easy to say yes to those cookies and natural candy canes--hey, it's Christmas time. It's easy to say yes to a bowl of grapes at your friend's house. It's easy to buy a couple boxes of sunbutter bars, because you son loves 'em.

But a couple weeks ago, Luke was trying to do homework and was having a terrible time keeping his mind on his task, and even staying in his seat. I realized he's been getting "twirly" and hyperactive again. He admitted that despite his good grades, it's been getting hard to concentrate at school.

I realized that we have to do the hard thing; I had to say to my wonderful son, who of all people deserves to have a freakin' cookie once in awhile: "Honey, we're going to have to cut way back on the sugar, okay? I'm not going to buy any cookies or bars for awhile." And he had to do the hard thing by saying, as he did, "Okay, Mom," and not complaining, which he didn't.

Sure enough, we're happier for it. After a week off sugar, he's back to normal. The other day he plopped down to do his homework and went from division to writing to violin practice, staying on task with only the smallest amount of coaching and no parental crabbing.

Bless his heart, he does the hard things every day--eats a diet most people would moan and complain and gnash their teeth over, without a peep. In the end, he's doing great at school and at home, is happy and healthy and that makes it all worthwhile.

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." --Frederick Koenig

How very soon can turn into 7 months

Smiling today; got an anonymous email that reminded me that "back very soon was a long time ago." It was, and I apologize! Time has flown.

Unfortunately, my trusty laptop which was fixed, but only for a short time before crashing again. Then my niece's husband fixed it, and it crashed yet again. Our home computer is over 10 years old so one can feel time actually moving backwards while we wait for it to boot up. Tick.....tock.....tick........................tock.

Our family has been hit by this economy fairly hard, so a shiny new (even a rusty used) laptop or pc isn't in the future, not yet.

But that comment reminded me that there was a reason for me starting this blog. Maybe somewhere out there is someone whose kid has behavior problems that might be changed by discovering their food allergies.

And not only kids. Since the time of my last post, I discovered that 15 years of headaches and pain in my neck were caused (or made worse) by milk and corn allergies. I want to relate that information too.

Thanks, Anonymous! I will find a way to post again.

Back to Basics vs. The Hidden Ickies

Around our house, we've been making a progression over the years to more natural, back-to-basics kinds of foods. With the recession, we're doing it even more to save money on our grocery bills, but mostly we do it because of what we've been learning about what's IN the most processed foods.

15 years ago, you might have found my husband and I cooking a gourmet masterpiece of macaroni and cheese highlighted with dogs du hot, or using Hamburger Helper. It was our salad days and there weren't many salads. We just wanted to get something in our stomachs with the least amount of fuss.

Luke sure changed all that. In order to try to understand what's going on in his system (and I don't, not completely), I do a lot of reading about different foods and additives and ingredients. I've been amazed at some of the things I've found, and there's some foods even I won't go near anymore.

Chief among them is artificial colors. Like Red 40. Oh, that lovely bright red color of Kool-Aid and Jell-O. This color is derived from....coal tar. Yummy. Blue #5 is derived from the same source.

These colors, including Yellow #5, have been linked to hyperactivity. My son and I , and a friend and her daughter have both benefitted GREATLY from taking artificial colors out of their diet (a subject for another post or nine).

In the course of figuring out Luke's allergies, I found out citric acid, which is found naturally in citrus fruits, is manufactured artifically by feeding sugar to mold strains. Mold! Because Luke reacts to yeast, I think that's why citric acid bothers him (yeast and mold are both fungus).

And today I got an email from a friend with something new: U.S. researchers find traces of toxic mercury in high-fructose corn syrup. The article notes: "The source of the metal appears to be caustic soda and hydrochloric acid, which manufacturers of corn syrup use to help convert corn kernels into the food additive. A handful of plants across the US still make the soda and acid by mixing a briny solution in electrified vats of mercury. Some of the toxic metal ends up in the final product, according to industry documents cited in the study."

What I've learned from all this is two things: First, educate yourself on what you're eating. Second, the closer to its natural state a food is, the better it is. It's also harder to make---cooking up a pot of chicken broth takes a lot more time than picking up a package. But it's more healthy than MSG-laden cheap broth, and less expensive than the natural versions.

With the economy the way it is, "more healthy" and "less expensive" are hitting a nexus. And when it's -10 F outside, a simmering pot of homemade chicken soup makes you feel pretty good.

Leg aches and cramps

Hundreds of times over the last nine years I've found myself doing things for my son that remind me of things my mom used to do for me, and it gives me a comforting sense of the circular nature of things. Making special birthday dinners, playing cards together, going on trips and talking in the car, playing Candyland, eating at the picnic table in the summer. All sweet mother-child (or father-child!) activities that we carry with us as daughters and sons and try to replicate as parents.

One thing that my mom used to for me, that I have also done for Luke, is massaging aching, cramping legs in the middle of the night. I remember waking up with the calves of my legs hurting so much I'd cry. Mom would come in and give me an aspirin, and massage them until I was tired enough to go back to sleep. Growing pains, we called them.

Sure enough, the same thing happened with Luke. He used to wake up in the middle of the night, his legs aching and cramping, till he was in tears. I felt like I was channelling my mom as I'd sit on the edge of the bed, massaging his aching legs, warming the muscles with a heating pad, trying to cheer him and myself with the thought of how fast he was growing.

Maybe leg aches are ubiquitous (that's my 50-cent word for the day) with all kids, I don't know. Certainly there are many different causes for leg cramping.

But it turns out leg aches are also a common sign of food allergy, especially dairy or wheat allergy, according to sources including Dr. Doris Rapp, author of Is This Your Child? and Dr. James Braly, author of Hidden Food Allergies. Having just realized that I also have a dairy allergy, Luke's and my shared symptoms of childhood leg pain make sense.

I know Luke's leg cramps and aches almost completely disappeared after we took dairy out of his diet.

Of course I'm not saying that if a child has leg pain, the parent should immediately run screaming to the refrigerator and throw out all dairy or wheat. But it can be looked at when it is one of several symptoms. Rapp goes on to mention that wiggly legs are also a symptom of food allergies, in children and adults as well.

But I still like to think of them as growing pains---after all, when your 9-year-old boy is already almost 5 feet tall, he's been doing some serious growing! And although Candyland has been replaced with Yu-Gi-Oh!, I look forward to continuing all the good traditions we've started.

"I told the doctor I broke my legs in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." --Henry Youngman

Stomachaches, headaches and never giving up

I saw a news story today about a little boy who couldn't sleep. The 3-year-old literally was awake nearly 24 hours a day, for years. The poor kid couldn't function on a normal level due to his extreme sleep deprivation and the parents were exhausted and at their wits' end. They went to doctor after doctor. He had his tonsils taken out, tubes put in his ears, and was put on anti-psychotic medications, but nothing worked.

Finally, a doctor correctly diagnosed his condition, and after having surgery on his skull to relieve pressure on his brain, he is finally able to sleep, and is now a normal child. I was touched by the parents talking about what a joy it is to be able to just hug and kiss their child.

Watching the parents in the interview, I completely understood. Luckily, our experience wasn't as extreme, but I was able to thoroughly empathise; their lack of sleep, the frustration at trying to find out what's wrong, the relief and enjoyment and thankfulness of having a normal child. I so understand.

At the end, the reporter notes the mother said to never give up when symptoms are unexplained; keep questioning the doctors, getting new opinions, asking questions. I found myself nodding in agreement. Right on, sister!

One of Luke's symptoms, besides his behavioral issues, was persistent headaches and stomachaches, from the time he was old enough to verbalize how he felt. Almost every night he would complain that his stomach and head hurt. What a feeling of helplessness, to have your child feel so miserable and not be able to do anything about it! In retrospect, I wonder if he was not having those symptoms during the day, too?

Once we started modifying his diet, thankfully, his headaches and stomach aches ceased. Before we knew about his allergies, I took him to the doctor many times about these symptoms, in addition to his fluctuating behavior.

(I would like to take a moment here to say this is not about doctor-bashing. I love our pediatrician. A lovely, warm woman, she interacts wonderfully with Luke and is thorough and concerned and helpful. I've always appreciated that she listens closely to me without interrupting or dismissing what I relate to her, and she's been very open-minded and supportive about Luke's food allergies.)

On one visit when I described Luke's symptoms, our pediatrician explained persistent headaches and stomach aches happen frequently in children and we don't always know what causes them. She thought perhaps he had a virus that caused the physical symptoms and he was acting out because he didn't feel well. A strep test came back negative.

On another visit, a different pediatrician suggested Seasonal Affective Disorder. A third, despite my assertion that Lukas was normally good-natured, suggested that perhaps he had an "oppositional personality" and that we should try a pediatric psychologist. That one made me angry--I knew this behavior wasn't his personality and I felt what I said had been dismissed.

Symptoms like that--persistent headaches, chronic stomach aches--deserve real, sustained attention instead of a snap diagnosis, as do parents' gut feelings about their child's health. When you feel something isn't right with your child, don't give up. Keep trying.

If we had simply accepted what the doctors said, if I had not persisted in believing there was something physically wrong with Luke, if I hadn't kept asking questions and taking him to the doctor, and doing Internet research, I can only imagine where he'd be today. Probably labeled as ADHD and oppositional and special needs. The loss of his potential would have been so sad. I worry a lot about how other kids might be going through the same thing. I hope, too, that doctors are more aware that chronic stomach and headaches can be an indicator of food allergies.

This is not to say that you should ignore what doctors tell you. But in the end, we are ultimately responsible for understanding our bodies and our medical care, and that of our children. With the Internet, we have more information at the tips of our fingers than ever before.

Don't give up!


"Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts." --Ruth Gordon