How very soon can turn into 7 months

Smiling today; got an anonymous email that reminded me that "back very soon was a long time ago." It was, and I apologize! Time has flown.

Unfortunately, my trusty laptop which was fixed, but only for a short time before crashing again. Then my niece's husband fixed it, and it crashed yet again. Our home computer is over 10 years old so one can feel time actually moving backwards while we wait for it to boot up. Tick.....tock.....tick........................tock.

Our family has been hit by this economy fairly hard, so a shiny new (even a rusty used) laptop or pc isn't in the future, not yet.

But that comment reminded me that there was a reason for me starting this blog. Maybe somewhere out there is someone whose kid has behavior problems that might be changed by discovering their food allergies.

And not only kids. Since the time of my last post, I discovered that 15 years of headaches and pain in my neck were caused (or made worse) by milk and corn allergies. I want to relate that information too.

Thanks, Anonymous! I will find a way to post again.

Back to Basics vs. The Hidden Ickies

Around our house, we've been making a progression over the years to more natural, back-to-basics kinds of foods. With the recession, we're doing it even more to save money on our grocery bills, but mostly we do it because of what we've been learning about what's IN the most processed foods.

15 years ago, you might have found my husband and I cooking a gourmet masterpiece of macaroni and cheese highlighted with dogs du hot, or using Hamburger Helper. It was our salad days and there weren't many salads. We just wanted to get something in our stomachs with the least amount of fuss.

Luke sure changed all that. In order to try to understand what's going on in his system (and I don't, not completely), I do a lot of reading about different foods and additives and ingredients. I've been amazed at some of the things I've found, and there's some foods even I won't go near anymore.

Chief among them is artificial colors. Like Red 40. Oh, that lovely bright red color of Kool-Aid and Jell-O. This color is derived from....coal tar. Yummy. Blue #5 is derived from the same source.

These colors, including Yellow #5, have been linked to hyperactivity. My son and I , and a friend and her daughter have both benefitted GREATLY from taking artificial colors out of their diet (a subject for another post or nine).

In the course of figuring out Luke's allergies, I found out citric acid, which is found naturally in citrus fruits, is manufactured artifically by feeding sugar to mold strains. Mold! Because Luke reacts to yeast, I think that's why citric acid bothers him (yeast and mold are both fungus).

And today I got an email from a friend with something new: U.S. researchers find traces of toxic mercury in high-fructose corn syrup. The article notes: "The source of the metal appears to be caustic soda and hydrochloric acid, which manufacturers of corn syrup use to help convert corn kernels into the food additive. A handful of plants across the US still make the soda and acid by mixing a briny solution in electrified vats of mercury. Some of the toxic metal ends up in the final product, according to industry documents cited in the study."

What I've learned from all this is two things: First, educate yourself on what you're eating. Second, the closer to its natural state a food is, the better it is. It's also harder to make---cooking up a pot of chicken broth takes a lot more time than picking up a package. But it's more healthy than MSG-laden cheap broth, and less expensive than the natural versions.

With the economy the way it is, "more healthy" and "less expensive" are hitting a nexus. And when it's -10 F outside, a simmering pot of homemade chicken soup makes you feel pretty good.

Leg aches and cramps

Hundreds of times over the last nine years I've found myself doing things for my son that remind me of things my mom used to do for me, and it gives me a comforting sense of the circular nature of things. Making special birthday dinners, playing cards together, going on trips and talking in the car, playing Candyland, eating at the picnic table in the summer. All sweet mother-child (or father-child!) activities that we carry with us as daughters and sons and try to replicate as parents.

One thing that my mom used to for me, that I have also done for Luke, is massaging aching, cramping legs in the middle of the night. I remember waking up with the calves of my legs hurting so much I'd cry. Mom would come in and give me an aspirin, and massage them until I was tired enough to go back to sleep. Growing pains, we called them.

Sure enough, the same thing happened with Luke. He used to wake up in the middle of the night, his legs aching and cramping, till he was in tears. I felt like I was channelling my mom as I'd sit on the edge of the bed, massaging his aching legs, warming the muscles with a heating pad, trying to cheer him and myself with the thought of how fast he was growing.

Maybe leg aches are ubiquitous (that's my 50-cent word for the day) with all kids, I don't know. Certainly there are many different causes for leg cramping.

But it turns out leg aches are also a common sign of food allergy, especially dairy or wheat allergy, according to sources including Dr. Doris Rapp, author of Is This Your Child? and Dr. James Braly, author of Hidden Food Allergies. Having just realized that I also have a dairy allergy, Luke's and my shared symptoms of childhood leg pain make sense.

I know Luke's leg cramps and aches almost completely disappeared after we took dairy out of his diet.

Of course I'm not saying that if a child has leg pain, the parent should immediately run screaming to the refrigerator and throw out all dairy or wheat. But it can be looked at when it is one of several symptoms. Rapp goes on to mention that wiggly legs are also a symptom of food allergies, in children and adults as well.

But I still like to think of them as growing pains---after all, when your 9-year-old boy is already almost 5 feet tall, he's been doing some serious growing! And although Candyland has been replaced with Yu-Gi-Oh!, I look forward to continuing all the good traditions we've started.

"I told the doctor I broke my legs in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." --Henry Youngman

Stomachaches, headaches and never giving up

I saw a news story today about a little boy who couldn't sleep. The 3-year-old literally was awake nearly 24 hours a day, for years. The poor kid couldn't function on a normal level due to his extreme sleep deprivation and the parents were exhausted and at their wits' end. They went to doctor after doctor. He had his tonsils taken out, tubes put in his ears, and was put on anti-psychotic medications, but nothing worked.

Finally, a doctor correctly diagnosed his condition, and after having surgery on his skull to relieve pressure on his brain, he is finally able to sleep, and is now a normal child. I was touched by the parents talking about what a joy it is to be able to just hug and kiss their child.

Watching the parents in the interview, I completely understood. Luckily, our experience wasn't as extreme, but I was able to thoroughly empathise; their lack of sleep, the frustration at trying to find out what's wrong, the relief and enjoyment and thankfulness of having a normal child. I so understand.

At the end, the reporter notes the mother said to never give up when symptoms are unexplained; keep questioning the doctors, getting new opinions, asking questions. I found myself nodding in agreement. Right on, sister!

One of Luke's symptoms, besides his behavioral issues, was persistent headaches and stomachaches, from the time he was old enough to verbalize how he felt. Almost every night he would complain that his stomach and head hurt. What a feeling of helplessness, to have your child feel so miserable and not be able to do anything about it! In retrospect, I wonder if he was not having those symptoms during the day, too?

Once we started modifying his diet, thankfully, his headaches and stomach aches ceased. Before we knew about his allergies, I took him to the doctor many times about these symptoms, in addition to his fluctuating behavior.

(I would like to take a moment here to say this is not about doctor-bashing. I love our pediatrician. A lovely, warm woman, she interacts wonderfully with Luke and is thorough and concerned and helpful. I've always appreciated that she listens closely to me without interrupting or dismissing what I relate to her, and she's been very open-minded and supportive about Luke's food allergies.)

On one visit when I described Luke's symptoms, our pediatrician explained persistent headaches and stomach aches happen frequently in children and we don't always know what causes them. She thought perhaps he had a virus that caused the physical symptoms and he was acting out because he didn't feel well. A strep test came back negative.

On another visit, a different pediatrician suggested Seasonal Affective Disorder. A third, despite my assertion that Lukas was normally good-natured, suggested that perhaps he had an "oppositional personality" and that we should try a pediatric psychologist. That one made me angry--I knew this behavior wasn't his personality and I felt what I said had been dismissed.

Symptoms like that--persistent headaches, chronic stomach aches--deserve real, sustained attention instead of a snap diagnosis, as do parents' gut feelings about their child's health. When you feel something isn't right with your child, don't give up. Keep trying.

If we had simply accepted what the doctors said, if I had not persisted in believing there was something physically wrong with Luke, if I hadn't kept asking questions and taking him to the doctor, and doing Internet research, I can only imagine where he'd be today. Probably labeled as ADHD and oppositional and special needs. The loss of his potential would have been so sad. I worry a lot about how other kids might be going through the same thing. I hope, too, that doctors are more aware that chronic stomach and headaches can be an indicator of food allergies.

This is not to say that you should ignore what doctors tell you. But in the end, we are ultimately responsible for understanding our bodies and our medical care, and that of our children. With the Internet, we have more information at the tips of our fingers than ever before.

Don't give up!


"Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts." --Ruth Gordon

Sensory issues - the evil socks with seams

I remember with fondness a phase Luke went through when he was just a little guy. The Bead Phase.

He discovered a stash of colorful Mardi Gras-type beads we had and just loved them. Upon rising in the morning, the first thing he would do is don his beads, and bring beads to my husband and I so we would be similarly adorned. We would take them off for work and daycare, but first thing when we came home, he would race to where the beads had been left and get us properly, festively, decked out once again.

I was kind of sad when The Bead Phase was over. :-)

Just as unusual, but not quite as endearing, has been his issues with clothing. He has always leaned toward soft, loose-fitting clothing and when he was a toddler, those were the types of clothes I picked out, anyway. But as he grew older, he started having serious issues with certain types of clothes, especially socks and shoes.

He wouldn't wear anything that was scratchy, or had a texture he didn't like, or t-shirts with that rubbery-feeling backing from an applique on the front. He wouldn't wear a shirt that would "bunch up," couldn't wear one shirt on top of another, and couldn't stand to tuck in his shirt. We have cut hundreds of tags out of the backs of his shirts. He couldn't stand underwear that was snug or pants that weren't loose-fitting, soft, and with an elastic waistband. He once wore the same pair of sweatpants over and over because it was the only pair he could tolerate.

And the socks. Ohmigosh, the socks. He absolutely COULD NOT STAND the feeling of the seams on the tops of the socks. The feeling was enough to drive him to distraction. And if the tops of his shoes pressed down too hard on the tops of his feet, he couldn't even bring himself to pull them on.

He also has been rather sensitive to sound. At one time he just couldn't tolerate loud noises, like the blender. Loud restaurants would make him hyper.

I have to admit, this was a characteristic we didn't understand for a long time. We've had scenes in the past where Luke was in tears because he just could not bring himself to put on his socks and shoes and we were just trying to get him to school on time and could not understand what the problem was. Or times when we've begged him to please put on a different pair of pants. He would try something on and then quickly peel them off as if they disgusted him, because he was unable to stand how they felt.

Now, I know that there are other kids out there with the same issues. Some of the names I've seen for it are "sensory sensitivity" or "sensory processing disorder" or "sensory integration dysfunction." Lots of kids have it even worse; they can't stand to be touched or hugged or to have their hair brushed. Apparently, the condition can sometimes be associated with ADD and autism.

I never dreamed this trait might be linked to Luke's food allergies. I assumed it was just another part of life with a strange and wonderful child. But then I listened to a CD of Dianne Craft, a special education teacher who started to notice the link between food and behavior, and became a nutritionist. In the CD, she mentioned a list of symptoms of food allergy that sounded exactly like Lukas---right down to her description of sensitivity to clothes.

Listening, it was one of those moments where I was SO relieved because I finally understood, finally had confirmation of why this was happening.

As we've gotten Luke's diet under control, and have figured out a regimen of supplements (like acidophilus) that help his digestive system, his sensitivity has moderated. This year is the first year he's been able to tolerate wearing jeans (soft ones, to be sure) and khakis on a regular basis, as long as they have elastic waistbands. He will wear long-sleeve shirts. I finally found seamless socks that he can stand that didn't break the bank ("Sof Sole bamboo lite," which I found at Famous Footwear) and shoes that actually feel good to him (New Balance). We haven't had any clothes-related tears or frustration in a long time.

He still hates tags, seams, and clothes that are too tight, but I can understand that. He still comes home and kicks off his shoes, peels off his socks, and climbs into lounge pants, and that's okay. And I'm more than happy to avoid loud restaurants in favor of something a little more sedate.

It's something other parents take for granted, but seeing Lukas neatly dressed in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and socks and shoes never fails to make me feel good. Now, all he needs are some beads...

What dogs and trash have to do with kids and allergies

I was making some breakfast this morning under the watchful eye of our dog, Lucky. Apparently part of the job description for labs is to be continually hungry.

She was keeping very close tabs on me as I threw some scraps in the trash under the sink, and my mind wandered to our previous dog.


Lucky: "Give the dog your foooood."

Maggie, normally a very good dog, went through a period in her life where she started getting into the trash. And I don't mean just rustling around in there for tasties. I mean, she was relentless. We would come home to the kitchen trash, all of it, spread out all over the kitchen floor, shredded, the scraps eaten. We put a cover on the trash, and that didn't stop her. We put the trash in the cupboard under the sink, and being as smart as she was, she would find a way to open that cupboard, pull out the trash, and spread it all over again.

We were at our wits' end! You could tell she knew it was wrong, but kept at it.

At the same time, she was drinking water non-stop, and I took her to to vet to find out what might be up. It turned out she had Cushing's disease, which is a disorder of the adrenal glands. The excess drinking was one symptom and excessive hunger was another. It turns out she had such feelings of hunger she couldn't help but find anything to eat, even if it meant getting into big trouble later. Once we got her on medication, she went back to normal and ignored the trash.

What does this have to do with kids and food allergies? I'm getting there, hold tight.

As people, when we ourselves don't behave as we should, we tend to blame factors outside our control; we were late for work because of traffic! But when someone else does not behave as they should, we tend to blame their character. They're late for work because they're too lazy to get up on time! The car ahead of us sits through a green light and we think, "What an idiot," not imagining that maybe the person is trying to re-buckle up their toddler.

The first thing we assumed when Maggie spread trash all over the floor was "BAD DOG!" when in fact there was an external factor that she couldn't help.

Same thing with kids. I remember before I was a parent, looking down my nose at children who were misbehaving at a restaurant or at the store and thinking, "What a naughty kid. They must be bad parents!" Then years later, karma strikes and it's me in their place. I remember bringing Luke to Perkins, and by the end of the meal (eggs and pancakes, full of things we now know he's allergic to) he'd be unable to sit still, standing on his seat, getting out of the booth, banging with his silverware, talking loudly. I could just feel the eyes on us, thinking the same thoughts.

Today when Luke goes out to eat with us, we bring his own food and he's well-behaved, polite to the servers, and fun to be with. The only thing he can't tolerate is very noisy restaurants.

This is just a reminder that when you see "bad" behavior in your child or another's (or in your dog for that matter), keep an open mind and don't be too quick to blame character flaws. There may be external factors at play.



"It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thought make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world, that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!" --Swami Vivekananda

Sleepover

We just survived another of my son's sleepover parties. Four friendly, energetic, goofy, Yu-gi-Oh -crazy boys in the same household for 17 hours. The house is still standing, but the dog has been trying all day to catch up on her sleep!

Actually, it's a pleasure to have kids over and to do something as simple as providing a place for them to stay up, have a pillow fight, watch movies, trade cards, joke about bodily functions, and then collapse into sleep. Then the party continues starting at 6:00 the following morning with cartoon watching, pancake snarfing, and finally the trip home.

I try never to let myself forget how lucky I am to have a healthy, happy, child and live in a country where we're safe and have enough food to eat and a roof over our heads. Things can get rough; as grownups we need to deal with layoffs, bills, work, being time-starved. Kids can have their share of troubles too, whether it's dealing with bullies, keeping up with a tough subject at school, or having lots of food allergies, so you can't eat the things your friends like to eat.

Whenever Luke feels bummed about not being able to have that cup of hot cocoa or slice of cake, I tell him I understand, and I really do. I wish I could take his allergies away. But even so, we can't ever forget how lucky we are. There are parents out there with kids who are extremely sick or worse, who have lost them. There are kids sitting in hospitals right now, fighting for their life. My friend works at a children's hospital and tells some heart-wrenching stories.

When I remember that, I am thankful all over again for the child I have. It's not easy being a kid who can't have milk, wheat, eggs, soy, nuts, yeast, sugar, and artificial colors. And it's not easy cooking for one, either. But he's healthy, he's smart, he's happy, he's well-adjusted, and he's my son, and so I am the luckiest parent alive.

Take a moment and be thankful for all that you have!

Sleep problems

Allow me a small rant. A rantlet.

Do you notice how people/parents connect babies' sleep patterns or crying (or lack thereof) with being "good," right from the beginning?

"He's a really good baby, he has slept through the night from 4 weeks on."

"She never cries, she's such a good baby."

I take umbrage (yes, umbrage!) with that. Babies don't have sleep difficulties because they're bad, and they don't cry because they're naughty. They wake or cry because they're hungry or wet or uncomfortable or not feeling good.

ALL babies are good!

When Luke was an infant, I heard other parents talk about how good their babies are, how they were sleeping through the night, and could only nod and exclaim how great that was.

Luke didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly one. He woke up twice a night most of the time, and once a night at the very least. Because he was so much bigger than other babies (he was 11 pounds 1 oz at birth), I thought he was just waking up hungry, and who knows, maybe that was it.
But he usually had a hard time falling asleep after each feeding, and I'd often have to rock him to sleep and very carefully set him down again. Sometimes he would cry and cry after being fed and it would take a very long time to settle him down again. I'm guessing those were times I had eaten a lot of milk products during the day. I wish I'd known enough to keep track.

The first time he slept through the night was when he was well into eating solids, and I tried him on a cereal bar and a cup of rice milk before bed, instead of breastfeeding him. That snack became a staple, and he slept much better after that, for awhile. Looking back, I realize there was probably very little milk in that bar and of course none in the rice milk. My guess is that he slept so much better because he felt better.

Later, around three, when his food allergies were really kicking in, he started having a terrible time falling asleep again. His legs were so wiggly he would walk them up the wall, or repeatedly kick his covers off. His body was a bundle of fitful energy, even when he was very tired from a long day. For a long time, at least a year or more, I had to sit or lay in his room with him every night to get him to sleep, holding his hand, and soothing him down.

And about that time, he started waking up at night again, several times a night. Sometimes it wasn't too hard to get him back to sleep, sometimes it took a half-hour to an hour. It was exhausting, for him and for me. I was a zombie.

As we discovered his food allergies and eliminated them from his diet, he found it easier and easier to fall asleep. No wiggly legs, no problems getting out of bed, and when he was tired at the end of the day, he could just lay down and snuggle in. He has been a wonderful sleeper.



He does have a penchant for singing in bed before he goes to sleep, and like any nine-year-old, he'll still try to finagle a way to stay up one more half-hour, or read just one more chapter. :-)

Now, I know that there are many issues that can contribute to children's sleep problems and I would never say that all sleep problems are food-related. However, I think if parents have children with chronic and unusual sleep difficulties, it's another possibility. Here's one site that offers some helpful information, but there are many on the web: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/articles/baby/child-diet-awake.

Just a personal note: I've recently stopped eating dairy to control the inflammation in my neck (which is working amazingly!---subject for another post) and I've been sleeping like a rock! Falling asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow and sleeping straight through the night without waking. I should have done this years ago!


"Sleep is the best meditation." --The Dalai Lama

Infant eczema

One of the first signs of food allergy in Lukas, and in many infants, is eczema.

I remember taking Luke to his first Christmas with my family and the poor little guy had this red, red rash all over his face. [picture to come] He had it for months and we just couldn't get rid of it.

Our pediatrician at the time recommended different lotions, talked to us about the soaps we were using, and we were careful to use hypoallergenic products on him but nothing worked. Hydrocortisone eventually helped, but food sensitivities were not ever brought up as a possible cause.

The first inkling that the rash might be related to milk came during a particular week when I noticed Luke was crying a lot more than usual, especially in the afternoon. I changed his diaper, burped him, massaged him, played with him, everything I could think of. If I had thought of it, I probably would have done a few chants or maybe an interpretive dance, anything to make him feel better.

At the time we had just gotten internet access so I got online and did a seach for other causes of baby crying. Got all the normal information but also found a couple websites that mentioned that food sensitivies, especially to milk, can often be a cause of infant colic or crying. Lo and behold, there was also a note about milk allergies causing rashes.

I was breastfeeding at the time, and looked back on what I had been eating. Like most breastfeeding mothers, I was so hungry all the time I made ravenous wildebeasts look tame by comparison. I was eating ice cream, cheese, yogurt and drinking lots of milk. (And lots and lots of Davanni's hoagies. mmmmm hoagies...)

I decided to try not eating dairy for awhile to see if it would help. And...it worked!! His fussiness decreased markedly and in about a week, his rash cleared up.

I avoided eating most dairy products from then on, but to be honest, I cheated. As long as he didn't have a rash and didn't seem overly fussy, I'd let myself have that yummy cheese or dish of ice cream. And I didn't have a clue at the time that dairy is in so many foods. So Luke was still getting milk products, although not as much.

Through his baby, toddler and preschool years he had varying degrees of rashiness on his cheeks and hips, and that is still a sign that I look for if I suspect Luke's eaten something with milk.

In retrospect, I wish I had known more about how much milk allergy can affect a child. But then (and even now) many websites and pediatricians downplayed the possible role food allerges and sensitivities can have with children, treating it almost an afterthought. The pediatrician we were seeing at the time was lukewarm to the idea that Luke might have food allergies.

The silver lining is we avoided major milk products when he was a toddler. It could have been a LOT worse. And knowing about that sensitivity is what clued me in to the link between food allergies and his behavior issues 3 years later.

In a future post I want to talk about what I've learned about why we are allergic to milk. (For example, think of it: We are the only animal that drinks another animal's milk. Is it any wonder we have reactions to it?)

In the meantime, here's a link to a site that does a nice, common-sense job of listing symptoms of milk allergies in babies and what to do: http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/allergies/milk_allergy.html


"If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not suggsting for a moment that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland." --Dave Barry

Family and Friends Who Believe

I am extremely lucky to have family and friends who are supportive.

There have been times over the years when I've received everything from sideways glances to bemused tolerance to outright dismissal of my assertions that allergies to certain foods were causing Luke's outbursts or hyperactivity.

But also over the years, I've had dear family members and good friends who have heard me out, believed me, sat around the kitchen table and let me pour out what I was thinking. They've supported me and supported Luke, and that has meant a lot. They always have fresh fruit on hand for him, always ask, "What can Luke have?" They shop for special foods for him, bring over boxes of rice spaghetti, or grill a special cut of meat, just for him.

I even have friends who have taken the leap of faith and tried adjusting their kids' diet, with great results. Kid's who were about to be labelled ADHD and now, just like Lukas, are regular kids.

I was emailing back and forth with a couple of these friends today, and it made me think about just how important it is to have a network of people who help and support each other, whether you have a children with food allergies or regular kids or no kids at all. The more we reach out and talk, and believe one another, the more we lift each other up.

So today, I thank my family and friends from the bottom of my heart for your support and help over the years, and for how special you treat my special kid.

One of these good friends sent this the other day and it made me laugh.

"The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family." ---Danica Whitfield

Symptoms

Every time I sit down to write more about our experiences, dozens and dozens of examples of behavior and health problems Luke experienced come to mind and it’s hard to quell the desire to talk about them all at once. I think of him dissolving into tears on shopping trips, hitting other kids for no reason, getting up and down from his chair over and over again during supper. His inability to fall asleep, his repeated stomach and headaches, his incessant talking and singing.

Imagines of him bubble up: Luke lying in bed, his feet repeatedly walking up the wall, unable to control his wiggly legs. Luke crouched into a little ball, face into the corner of his closet, refusing to come out. The flat, angry, defiant look he would sometimes give me when I would think, “He doesn’t even look like himself!” Luke starting a meal sitting up and talking normally, and ending it sitting upside down in the chair, his feet up in the air, babbling.

But all those disturbing images are interspersed with reminders of the real Lukas; a loving, funny, cheerful little boy who as a preschooler loved to sing and play pretend, hugged his friends and family liberally, and was kind to our dog.

He was a snuggler who loved to be read to, a smart kid with a sunny smile and a bright and cheerful personality.

And he still is! :-)

As I look back, there were many signs of food allergy which I and our pediatrician just did not recognize. Here’s a list of the symptoms Luke showed, to different degrees and sometimes appearing at different times. I’d like to describe them all in better detail in upcoming posts.

This is not a complete list of possible symptoms of food allergy. I hope to provide some links to those in the future, too, or I'd recommend the book Is This Your Child? by Doris Rapp, M.D.

Luke's physical symptoms:

Rash on his face and hips
Stomach aches
Headaches
Leg aches
Circles under his eyes
Diarrhea
Red ears and cheeks
Inability to stand socks with seams, snug shoes, shirt tucked in, or any kind of slight tightness or discomfort with his clothes.

Luke's behavioral symptoms:

Hyperactivity
Inability to control his impulses
Sleep problems - difficulty falling asleep and nighttime waking
Frustration
Aggression
Nonstop talking and singing, noise-making
Fatigue
Hiding on the floor, under tables, behind chairs

I read the list back to myself today and wonder how we ever got through all this! Some of the issues date back to when he was a baby, and they just accumulated and got worse over time. Like the frog in the water that slowly builds to a boil, the water got warmer and warmer without us realizing it.

Before you wonder why we let this go on so long, be assured I took Luke to the doctor. Multiple times. Multiple doctors. No one ever suggested food allergies.


Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb

Worst Day

It’s hard to decide where to start. We’ve gone through so much and it’s not all easy to tell. I think parents find it hard to admit it to each other when things are going roughly; there’s a stigma attached to admitting a child is having trouble, so we tend to bottle our problems up instead of turning to each other for help.

However, I’ve found when I start talking to people about what we went through with Luke, they almost always have a story about their own child, or a child they know, that’s very similar. Once you admit your own difficulties and let your defenses down a little, other people do too, and you realize how much you have in common.

So here goes.

Before I start, though, I want to tell you what my son Luke is like today. He gets good grades at school, is described by his teacher as a “normal 3rd grade boy,” and is described by his friends’ parents as well-behaved and polite. At home, he has his good and bad days like any kid, but overall he’s a smart, funny, goofy, all-around good kid. The apple of his mom’s eye. ;-)

Let’s rewind about 5 years. One particular day comes to mind which I think of as hitting the absolute rock bottom.

Back then he was in preschool and getting a call from school to pick up Luke meant he was acting in a way that was so unacceptable that he could not stay. Those calls were becoming more and more frequent, and as I worked, I cringed whenever my phone rang about 1:00, which was right after lunch, nap time; Luke’s worst time of the day.

One day, sure enough, the phone rang and it was the child care director. She had affection for and understanding of Luke, but her voice was restrained, as though she was trying very hard not to say what she really wanted to say. “You’re going to have to pick up Lukas,” she said. “He’s having a very tough time. He wouldn’t sit still for quiet time, and when we tried to get him to at least sit down, he had a tantrum and threw books all over the room. Then he started hitting his teacher and he’s given her a bloody nose.”

My stomach dropped and I could feel the blood leaving my face. Again!? What is happening?!?

I rushed to the Y, and the room was a disaster; books strewn all over the room. The director filled me in. During his tantrum, his teacher tried to settle him down. Luke (who has always been a big kid) tried to hit her, and she restrained him by holding him on her lap and encircling him with her arms. Struggling, Luke threw his head back, right into her nose, bloodying it. Finally, he dissolved into tears, ending his tantrum, but he had to leave.

I brought Lukas home. He was miserable, remorseful, exhausted. Unable to explain why he did what he did. I was worried to death; deeply troubled by his behavior but at the end of my rope as to what to do about it.

This scenario (in lesser versions) had repeated itself over and over and nothing had worked. Rewards for good behavior, punishment for bad behavior, anger management counseling in preschool all had little effect. He was always pretty good until lunch time and then the meltdown would come. But this was the worst yet.

My husband and I talked that evening. We wondered for the hundredth time: how can Lukas be such a good-natured, funny, sweet little boy some days, then transform into this terribly-behaved problem child on others? We used to joke that he was either a “prince” or “the prince of darkness,” but it wasn’t a joking matter anymore. My husband finally said what I didn’t want to think—could he have a brain tumor?

It’s a terrible, stomach-wrenching feeling of helplessness when you’ve tried everything and nothing works, and when you don't know what's wrong.

In upcoming posts I’ll describe the symptoms Luke had, some of the experiences we went through, what the doctors said, and how I finally discovered that food was the culprit.

"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it." --Author Unknown

Welcome!

It’s my New Year’s Resolution to start this blog with the mission of sharing what I’ve learned about food and its relation to behavior and health.

I want to share the experience of how discovering my son’s food allergies transformed him from a hyperactive, tantrum-prone, sleepless, obstinate, sometimes aggressive child to the normal sweetheart of a 9-year-old he is today.

The child I just knew he was, inside.

I also hope to share what I’ve learned about foods and food additives and how they affect our bodies. Whether you eat sustenance, chow, vittles, grub or gourmet delectables, I believe it can have a profound influence on our behavior and our health, good and bad.

I have some pretty firm opinions, but this isn’t going to be a diatribe against the evils of corporate food giants, and it’s not going to be a purist, natural food-only rant. It’s just me, a mother who loves her kid and is glad he’s okay, hoping to help other parents and people with health issues that just might be food-related.

Thanks for visiting!

"We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are." --Adelle Davis (1904-1974)