What dogs and trash have to do with kids and allergies

I was making some breakfast this morning under the watchful eye of our dog, Lucky. Apparently part of the job description for labs is to be continually hungry.

She was keeping very close tabs on me as I threw some scraps in the trash under the sink, and my mind wandered to our previous dog.


Lucky: "Give the dog your foooood."

Maggie, normally a very good dog, went through a period in her life where she started getting into the trash. And I don't mean just rustling around in there for tasties. I mean, she was relentless. We would come home to the kitchen trash, all of it, spread out all over the kitchen floor, shredded, the scraps eaten. We put a cover on the trash, and that didn't stop her. We put the trash in the cupboard under the sink, and being as smart as she was, she would find a way to open that cupboard, pull out the trash, and spread it all over again.

We were at our wits' end! You could tell she knew it was wrong, but kept at it.

At the same time, she was drinking water non-stop, and I took her to to vet to find out what might be up. It turned out she had Cushing's disease, which is a disorder of the adrenal glands. The excess drinking was one symptom and excessive hunger was another. It turns out she had such feelings of hunger she couldn't help but find anything to eat, even if it meant getting into big trouble later. Once we got her on medication, she went back to normal and ignored the trash.

What does this have to do with kids and food allergies? I'm getting there, hold tight.

As people, when we ourselves don't behave as we should, we tend to blame factors outside our control; we were late for work because of traffic! But when someone else does not behave as they should, we tend to blame their character. They're late for work because they're too lazy to get up on time! The car ahead of us sits through a green light and we think, "What an idiot," not imagining that maybe the person is trying to re-buckle up their toddler.

The first thing we assumed when Maggie spread trash all over the floor was "BAD DOG!" when in fact there was an external factor that she couldn't help.

Same thing with kids. I remember before I was a parent, looking down my nose at children who were misbehaving at a restaurant or at the store and thinking, "What a naughty kid. They must be bad parents!" Then years later, karma strikes and it's me in their place. I remember bringing Luke to Perkins, and by the end of the meal (eggs and pancakes, full of things we now know he's allergic to) he'd be unable to sit still, standing on his seat, getting out of the booth, banging with his silverware, talking loudly. I could just feel the eyes on us, thinking the same thoughts.

Today when Luke goes out to eat with us, we bring his own food and he's well-behaved, polite to the servers, and fun to be with. The only thing he can't tolerate is very noisy restaurants.

This is just a reminder that when you see "bad" behavior in your child or another's (or in your dog for that matter), keep an open mind and don't be too quick to blame character flaws. There may be external factors at play.



"It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thought make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world, that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!" --Swami Vivekananda

Sleepover

We just survived another of my son's sleepover parties. Four friendly, energetic, goofy, Yu-gi-Oh -crazy boys in the same household for 17 hours. The house is still standing, but the dog has been trying all day to catch up on her sleep!

Actually, it's a pleasure to have kids over and to do something as simple as providing a place for them to stay up, have a pillow fight, watch movies, trade cards, joke about bodily functions, and then collapse into sleep. Then the party continues starting at 6:00 the following morning with cartoon watching, pancake snarfing, and finally the trip home.

I try never to let myself forget how lucky I am to have a healthy, happy, child and live in a country where we're safe and have enough food to eat and a roof over our heads. Things can get rough; as grownups we need to deal with layoffs, bills, work, being time-starved. Kids can have their share of troubles too, whether it's dealing with bullies, keeping up with a tough subject at school, or having lots of food allergies, so you can't eat the things your friends like to eat.

Whenever Luke feels bummed about not being able to have that cup of hot cocoa or slice of cake, I tell him I understand, and I really do. I wish I could take his allergies away. But even so, we can't ever forget how lucky we are. There are parents out there with kids who are extremely sick or worse, who have lost them. There are kids sitting in hospitals right now, fighting for their life. My friend works at a children's hospital and tells some heart-wrenching stories.

When I remember that, I am thankful all over again for the child I have. It's not easy being a kid who can't have milk, wheat, eggs, soy, nuts, yeast, sugar, and artificial colors. And it's not easy cooking for one, either. But he's healthy, he's smart, he's happy, he's well-adjusted, and he's my son, and so I am the luckiest parent alive.

Take a moment and be thankful for all that you have!

Family and Friends Who Believe

I am extremely lucky to have family and friends who are supportive.

There have been times over the years when I've received everything from sideways glances to bemused tolerance to outright dismissal of my assertions that allergies to certain foods were causing Luke's outbursts or hyperactivity.

But also over the years, I've had dear family members and good friends who have heard me out, believed me, sat around the kitchen table and let me pour out what I was thinking. They've supported me and supported Luke, and that has meant a lot. They always have fresh fruit on hand for him, always ask, "What can Luke have?" They shop for special foods for him, bring over boxes of rice spaghetti, or grill a special cut of meat, just for him.

I even have friends who have taken the leap of faith and tried adjusting their kids' diet, with great results. Kid's who were about to be labelled ADHD and now, just like Lukas, are regular kids.

I was emailing back and forth with a couple of these friends today, and it made me think about just how important it is to have a network of people who help and support each other, whether you have a children with food allergies or regular kids or no kids at all. The more we reach out and talk, and believe one another, the more we lift each other up.

So today, I thank my family and friends from the bottom of my heart for your support and help over the years, and for how special you treat my special kid.

One of these good friends sent this the other day and it made me laugh.

"The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family." ---Danica Whitfield

Welcome!

It’s my New Year’s Resolution to start this blog with the mission of sharing what I’ve learned about food and its relation to behavior and health.

I want to share the experience of how discovering my son’s food allergies transformed him from a hyperactive, tantrum-prone, sleepless, obstinate, sometimes aggressive child to the normal sweetheart of a 9-year-old he is today.

The child I just knew he was, inside.

I also hope to share what I’ve learned about foods and food additives and how they affect our bodies. Whether you eat sustenance, chow, vittles, grub or gourmet delectables, I believe it can have a profound influence on our behavior and our health, good and bad.

I have some pretty firm opinions, but this isn’t going to be a diatribe against the evils of corporate food giants, and it’s not going to be a purist, natural food-only rant. It’s just me, a mother who loves her kid and is glad he’s okay, hoping to help other parents and people with health issues that just might be food-related.

Thanks for visiting!

"We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are." --Adelle Davis (1904-1974)